Wednesday, May 13, 2009

spiders make me sick

For those of you who are unaware, spiders completely gross me out. Living in Middleboro the past 5 years has helped me get over my fear a little bit, because there are "spiders" and then there are "Middleboro Spiders." These things are enormous, fury and disgusting. In fact, one comes back each year and makes a web in our screen door (at the very top). Last year Jason named him and considered him a pet. We would stare at him at night, like we were watching the Discovery Channel and watch him feed. Needless to say, although they completely gross me out, I have grown to tolerate them....a little. Well, at least I can squish the small ones without yelling for Jason!

Two days ago, the girls and I were driving to Stop and Shop when Julia let out a shriek and told me there was a spider in the car. I asked her if it was big or little, and she insisted it was big. I, on the other hand didn't see it. I explained to her it was very dangerous to kill bugs while driving, so if it really was little, it would have to wait. She insisted otherwise and then....I saw it. It was big, fury and black with white spots. So completely ready to gag and yell for Jason to help me, I pull over around the corner from my house and park. I get out, walk around to the passenger side door where the bugger was hiding and do what any other self respecting mom would have done. I whipped off my flip flop, whipped open the door and was ready to battle. I squished the thing in one good whack, and I got to tell you, it was a bit like killing a small rodent. Mission accomplished.

Back in the truck I go to finish our trip to the store. Julia is practically gagging in the back seat (everything makes her gag). Then this comes out of her mouth. Well, first off all, fair warning, my girl likes poop jokes. That's what you get when you let a 4 year old hang out with Daddy and Uncle Erik!


"Mom, I think I'm gonna be sick. For real! I'm gonna have...diarrhea...right now...in my pants!!"


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Conversations with Julia


Here is a sampling of some recent conversations with Miss Julia...

"Julia, When do you think you can start wiping your own butt?"
"I don't know, maybe when I am like 14."

(one week later)
"Hey Dad?"
"Yeah, Julia?"
"I am really sick of wiping my own butt."

"I'm sorry you got mommy's midget legs."
"That's okay mom, accidents happen."

My mom asked, "Julia, can you reach in the (portable) crib and get a binky?"
(while reaching) "I can't reach it, I have mommy arms."
(wasn't aware I had short arms, too!)

"When I grow up, I wanna be hairy, just like my dad!"

"My dad is like a real big hairy stegosaurus!"
(extra funny, because he's not hairy)

"ugh, that is foul."

"Oh, they make it for man boobies, too!"
(while watching a hair removal infomercial)

What does mom do?
"Tells me to keep my pants on"
(sound advice, I think!)

While looking for a reason not to go to sleep:
"Um......Um.....I need you to water my plant."

"Julia did you get Alison's bottle for me?"
"No, I forgot."
"Can you get it for me please?"
"Give me a break I just sat down!!"